STARR Research Ambassador Douglas Meron: Thriving Within My Communities
The rate of loneliness is skyrocketing in the United States. People who live with mental health challenges are extremely familiar with loneliness. I live with schizoaffective disorder and often felt that I would have great difficulty being involved in social groups due to my symptoms and tendency to isolate. Some of the best advice I received was not to wait to feel better to do things but to do things to feel better. About ten months ago, I moved out from my ARF (Assisted Residential Facility) into an independent living situation (renting a room in a condo). I moved into a new area where I knew few people. The quote, “Your life does not get better by chance; it gets better by change” rings true.
Knowing that expanding my support system would be a key component of living independently, I set out to do things differently. Moving to a new place would mean I had to find a new psychiatrist and therapist. After doing the leg work, I found a kind psychiatrist whose office was within walking distance of my new residence. Finding a therapist who either took my insurance or provided low-cost therapy was a challenge. After hours of calling around, I found a therapist who was in a graduate program at San Diego State that I could talk to once a week.
While I was a resident at Hummingbird, I worked ten hours as a peer specialist. As a peer specialist, I worked in the same hospital (Crestwood Behavioral Health) where I once was a resident. Maintaining my job would be the foundation of my new life. As a peer specialist, I could help other residents and maintain my relationships with the Crestwood staff, a family-like environment.
Finding my place in the community was the next challenge. Flash forward ten months and I am thriving due to my involvement with the community. I had been going to the First Unitarian Universalist Church of San Diego where they welcome everyone and practice inclusion. Since I wanted to build my support system, I began attending church every Sunday and getting involved in the Unitarian Universalist Men’s Fellowship. In the last ten months, I have made several friends at the church and truly feel a part of something bigger than myself. Although I heard the message of inclusion before, I now feel so welcomed and accepted for who I am at First Church. I can talk openly to the community about my joys and sorrows. I know that every Sunday morning I have a place to go and friends to go out in the community to cafes, concerts, restaurants, etc. in San Diego County.
In a typical week in my life, I participate in regular activities to stay engaged in the community. As mentioned, on Sunday, I go to church; on Monday, I go food shopping at a local market in the morning, then in the evening, I attend Toastmasters, a public speaking group. I am lucky to have Trader Joe’s Supermarket within a block of where I live and relish the friendliness of the staff, making food shopping a communal event. My Toastmasters group is filled with kind people and I have given several speeches about living with schizoaffective disorder. Like the church, my Toastmaster’s group is extremely supportive. One of the members (Dr. Ken) is a psychiatrist who is working on developing a residence program for people with schizophrenia. I attended the local NAMI walk with Dr. Ken and helped him network with other mental health organizations. On Tuesday, I work at Crestwood Behavioral Health and at night I go to meditate at a Buddhist temple called the Dharma Bums. I am fortunate that I go with my friend Jim, who is a trainer for Peer Support Specialists for NAMI. On Wednesday, I wake up early in the morning to talk to my best friend David, who I’ve known since college. David is a tremendous friend and we both enjoy catching up with each other once a week. On Wednesday morning, I go to a bagel shop to meet up with a senior citizen group. Although I am not a senior, the group has welcomed me with open arms. I find that there is a strong connection between seniors and those living with a mental health challenge. At the senior group, I have made a great friend in Jules and we go out for dinner and watch baseball together. On Thursday, I work at Crestwood and then I go to see my therapist in person. On Friday morning, I participate in a Writer’s Group on Zoom where we are given a topic to write about and each person shares into the circle about their take on the topic. Some of the topics we discussed are forgive and forget, the eye of the storm, and a mother’s love. On Friday afternoon, I watch a movie at the city library. On Saturday, my Mom and Michael (my Mom’s boyfriend) come and take me out to breakfast and then we play Scrabble. After breakfast, I go to Balboa Park to participate in a laughter yoga group.
Community is vital. It provides emotional support, prevents isolation, gives practical assistance, peer support, and social interaction. It empowers me to manage my mental health challenges. I have friends and acquaintances from a variety of sources. I can break down barriers and crush the stigma of living with a mental health condition. After having so many setbacks, I am now living the life of my dreams.
For questions, contact Katerina at katerina@thestarr.org.